The Dalyan Posse (more VIWPPs!)

Hello, Good evening and welcome to another episode of Wolfie and Renton's wedding blog....this time we have chosen two very deserving couples to be our next victims, er...I mean subjects!

We met both couples on the same holiday in Dalyan, Turkey in June 2006....and so I shall begin.....

Bella & Muffin

We first met this lovely couple in the back of a 'transfer bus' from Dalaman airport to our Dalyan Hotel at 4am on a June morning in 2006. The first words to leave Bella's lips were "Hello, my name's Carole with an E!" From that moment on we loved them. As you can probably gather, Bella and Muffin are not their real names. Carole is Bella and John (another one!!!!) is Muffin.

Muffin is a bird watcher of world reknown and is the world authority on the One-wegged White Wagtail - a rare and seldom seen subspecies of the more common Pied Wagtail. Muffin will be able to tell you so much about it at the wedding, plus many more stories from his many hair-raising adventures overseas.

Why is Muffin called "Muffin" I hear you ask.....because he's a Stud Muffin, that's why......one night in a fabulous bar called the Sun Ray in Dalyan and the bar staff couldn't keep their hands to themselves! We'll let him explain...

Here we see the Great White Hunter in action

Bella is even more of an action woman than her adventurous husband. She loves nothing more than donning her favourite silver mountain climbing flip flops and "flopping off" into the unknown, armed only with a Gucci handbag and a gold Amex credit card (oops, shouldn't have mentioned that, Muffin will know you have one now!)...as you can see from the picture below, the flip flops really did get their money's worth whilst surveying the mountains of southern Turkey.

Bella used to be called Fatima being as she was feeling all Turkish (I don't know if any Delight was involved as I have not asked her husband!), but then she went to Italy and was possessed by the spirit of Bella Gucci Prada, the patron saint of shopping....she has been Bella ever since.

Bella "flopping" in the Turkish Mountains

Congratulations to Bella and Muffin who just became Grandparents for the first time to little baby Max William!!!

Lord & Lady Shaldon

Lord and Lady Shaldon (David and Bunty) were also staying in the same hotel as us, Bella and Muffin - this is the hotel http://www.asurotel.com/hotel.htm

We first met them by the pool, Bunty looking resplendent in a swimming costume, wide brimmed hat and "Jackie O" sunglasses. Lord Shaldon, her faithful attendant by her side, applying sun lotion to the soles of her feet (ok, there's a little bit of artistic licence here but you get the drift!).

Lord and Lady Shaldon live in Shaldon Manor on the South Devon Coast, which we have visited on many occassion for a weekend of civilised frivolity (Bunty normally gets really lashed!!!) and we always have a wonderful time, they are such generous hosts.

David's dinner party menus are a little questionable at times!

Bunty and Lord Shaldon introduced us to Slimming World, which I have to say is all very well until you visit them and the diet is put on hold in favour of copious amounts of wine and enough dinner party pudding menus to feed the British Army!

On one visit we were taken to the House of Marbles (I thought perhaps to buy Wolfie some new ones as he lost his years ago!) which is in Bovey Tracey - actually alot better than it sounds! We also subjected them to a morning looking at cock.......and chickens at the Devonshire Traditional Breed Centre in Crediton, Devon.

Finally, Bunty has the most enormous, big, hairy Pussy - I shall leave you with a cracking picture of it....

The Grand Design

In the beginning, there wasn't much in the way of discussion about the design and look of our invitations. There was, however, a decision made very early on about who we would like to design said invitations. The one person we trusted more than any other with this leviathan of a task was one Mr. Paul Batterham. 

Mr. Paul Batterham - the official Wedding Invitation Designer

Mark and Paul got married on 12th April 2008 - their invitations were gorgeous, and spookily enough, designed by Paul. So, with that thought planted firmly in our minds, we rocked up at Chez Batterham-Best one evening late in 2008 without much in the way of a design or colour scheme, in fact not much actually. Through a delicious dinner and some fabulous wine we decided on a design that we would use. The one thing I wanted, to identify our joint love of birds, was a feather on the front, the rest I was happy to leave in the hands of everyone else.

Mark & Paul on their wedding day

Well, you will notice that there is no feather, anywhere, at all, not one. That's because Paul made the fatal mistake of giving me (Mr. John McKenna) a web link to look at some feather pictures and off I went looking at lots of other pictures and I stumbled across the stylised hummingbird, which then (obviously) became our final design.

Paul is a designer (dahling), he designs....you can see his work via his webpage http://www.paulbatterham.com (my personal favourite being Tena for Men!)

As previously mentioned, Paul is married to the lovely Mark.....Mr. Mark Best used to work at London Zoo and that's how my fiancee met him, and thus I met him through John. He's a lovely man, now plying his trade on the river Thames on the boats.

This is Mark - "Hail Caesar"

Mark and Paul are wonderful chaps, they really are (just don't tell them I said that!!!) and we are really truly chuffed to pieces that they are not only our friends, but designed our absolutely fantastic wedding invitations! When I saw the first "hot off the press" invitation, I am not ashamed to say that I cried.....thanks Boys.... we love you tons!

Hear No, Speak No, See No

Oh Mother!

Plans are coming on a-pace.

We've decided on the layout of the inside of the marquee now.

We have secured a DJ.

We're booking the hotel for us and the Mums imminently.

I (Mr. John McKenna) have my outfit!!!!!!

We're trying to decide on an Ice Sculpture (HOW gay!!!!) for the buffet display - Mary, our Caterer insists we have one!

One thing we haven't really thought about yet is Rings.....jokes on a postcard please!

As previously promised, I think its about time we introduced some other VIWPPs to the world, so without further a-do, here are the Mums, without whom none of this would have been possible....

Celia, for that is my Mum's name, lives in Somerset and has done for the last God knows how many years...too many probably! Mum is "young (ish), free and single", so any would-be suitors, please contact me for further details - forewarned is forearmed I always say!

Me and my Mum

Some of my fondest memories of Mum are in the kitchen.....baking Banana Bread immediately springs to mind! Her recipe cannot be beaten, its delicious, truly.....Mother, get baking woman!

Mum is not only 'Mum' to me, but also my little Sister, Olivia. One of us has caused Mum no end of grief and I have been a model Son! In seriousness, Mum has always been there when I've needed her (and I'm pretty sure my little Sister would agree!). Until I met John it was probably on a very regular basis, maybe too regular.......phone calls asking if I could come and stay due to heart ache, moving back home, moving out, etc, etc.....she always said yes, she never turned me away, ever....Thanks Mum, I love you tons!

Joyce, for that is my man's Mum's name, lives in Cheshire and has done so, in the same house, for longer than I have been on this planet! Joyce was married to the lovely 'Jack' Ellis, who very sadly passed away after a very brief battle against Cancer in January 2008. When Jack was alive, Joyce acted as Official Translator for me as Jack had the broadest Cheshire accent I have ever heard and I couldn't understand a word he said...one blank look from me and she knew exactly what to do!

Him and his Mum

One thing you cannot fault Joyce on is her ability to be the "Hostess with the Most-est"....In the winter months, upon arrival at Chez Ellis, one is almost immediately presented with a tumbler of Whisky and one's own personal little bottle of Lemonade, to dilute as one sees fit....FAB!

As well as John, Joyce is also Mother to 4 other children (fertile is the word we like to use!)...we have (in ascending order) Christine (aka Mag), Pauline (aka Camilla), Timothy (aka Mini Me!) and Richard (aka Captain Car Crash!)

So, the Mums have been introduced.....what marvellous Ladies....Long May They Reign!

More VIWPPs to come.....watch this space, you never know, it could be YOU!

Update!

Honestly, as my lovely man said before me in the previous post, how DO you cope with it all???? It's just a little bit stressful, innit!!!

We've recently begun to panic about the affordability and availability of a marquee for our upcoming nuptials. How can a glorified tent be so expensive I ask you? Perhaps we should have consulted Milletts and got a job lot on some lovely little tents and just sewn them together into a big one....would have been easier and cheaper! However, our lovely caterer, Mary, has once again come up trumps and found us a fabulous deal on a marquee so now we really are rocking and rolling.

We now have:

The Venue

The Caterer

The Marquee and contents

The Photographer (http://www.kelvinbrown.co.uk/ and also http://kelvinbrown.blogspot.com/)

The Invitations designed by our lovely friend Paul (http://www.paulbatterham.com/)

A few things are yet to be decided:

The Rings (We've sort of decided but need to finalise)

The Outfits

Interior design of Marquee

DJ/Disco

Humanist Speaker

Vows/Readings etc etc

Buttonholes/Corsages

There's so much to think about and yet its so exciting!!!!!

Now, we've introduced you to the Best Woman....but what of their lovely husbands I hear you ask....so without further ado, here are they:

Nick aka "Lord Nackers"

Nick is husband to the long suffering Sharon and is an enigma to us all. He claims to have a very sharp sense of humour but we always seem to be on the blunt end of it. He has an unhealthy fixation with cycling (the man has buns of steel) and he wears secondhand underpants. Nackers is a wonderful man, we love him lots and lots...oh, and he's also a Pussy Magnet!

Lawrence aka "Loz" or "Dude"

Lawrence is husband to Heather and father to our wonderful God Daughter, Jemima Bean and her brother Ferdinand. I think you will agree that this 'hunk-o-spunk' looks mighty fine in a wet suit (Thanks for the picture Heather!). Lawrence is a Marine Biologist and spends his days with the fishes on the end of a kite-surfboard.....if you fancy a go he gives lessons which you can book here: http://www.oceanhigh.co.uk/Home.html Don't all rush at once ladies (and GentleBents!).

More on other VIWPP (Very Important Wedding Party People) in future editions of the blog.

Now.....I'm off to book my kite-surfing!!!

Well how DO you cope with it all!

Venue - sorted! Well that's the good news. There is the chance that it comes with a complimentary marquee however its difficult to pin down at the moment and of course we need to find out what it will come with. In truth, although there is the expense of hiring the marquee it may be easier for peace of mind to actually get it ourselves.

Catering - fantastic menu from a small local firm but a bit over our budget per head. I think we are going to go with this firm as we have been very impressed so far, just needs some discussion.

Registry Office - bloody impossible. Completely conflicting advice however it eventually transpires that we cannot even provisionally book a civil partnership registration until I am divorced even though we have until 16 days before the ceremony to present our papers (240 odd days at the moment) So divorce proceedings will be starting soon.

(and its the 28th October and its snowing outside)

That will be enough for now - off to curl up in bed and look at the Northern Lights through the french windows while listening to the huskies howling at the ghostly polar bears sliding across the icy landscape in search of mangy foxes and late commuters.

The "First Ladies"

As with any ceremony concerning life bonding, there have to be close stalwart friends to not only keep you on the straight (are you joking?) and narrow but to ensure you actually turn up on the day.

In truth it was a great pleasure that two of our dearest and closest friends bravely accepted the roles of "First Ladies".

Introducing Lady Scott - my former landlady, spiritual guru, dietary wizard, cake professor par excellence and maker of named jams and marmalade's.

(at this point I became seriously fucked off as blogger went down twice and didn't save a thing in draft so its third time lucky)

We have been lucky, indeed blessed, in joining Lady Scott and her husband Sir Knackers on their annual sojourn to Africa (completely untrue however it sounds fun and we have been on holiday together on two occasions which has been truly wonderful)

As one can see from the photograph above, Lady Scott takes great care in dressing and drinking like the locals. Her choice of the 1 litre gin glass with hints of tonic of course harks back to another age and the damp patches on her top I can assure you are from wrestling lion cubs away from Virginia McKenna (alleged great aunt "once removed" of my beloved) to ensure the cubs at least have a small chance of life expectancy.

Below is the real Lady Scott (of course not her real name but more related to her other life as international jet-setter and Antarctic Explorer) in more formal dress however not wearing the correct hat in London, much to the distress of the South African Raffia Hat Weavers Association for which Lady Scott was asked to be Patron. Unfortunately she could not accept due to not being able to get into her office while wearing the hat.

Introducing the Dark Empress (DE) aka "H" - provider of futons, medicinal alcohol and dancing, spiritual guru, siren of sea and shore and mother of our beloved goddaugher "JJ Bean" (good name for a company if somebody wants to buy the copyright)

caught eating a non-ecological shrimp at her own wedding!!

So few have been so afflicted as the Dark Empress with one's self landing on her doorstep (emotional trauma and cheating boyfriend!) however once embedded on the futon in Camden therapy began. If anybody ever wondered what life is like in London all I can say is "The Black Cap". Of course times change but in the early 'noughties' the only person to see was Her Resplendantness Regina Fong http://www.reginafong.com/ I cannot recall half the therapy session however I do feel it made us both better people.

However the good life never last forever and for Her Darkness it got better! Not only did she manage to marry my boyfriends dream lover (well what other reason at H and Lozzer's wedding reception would he scream to the entire ensemble "I love you Lozzer, I love you, it should have been ME!") but life realised in rural Cornwall with daughter (our godddaughter, and I am so proud), dog (lovely if it was even vaguely trained :) and a lovely cottage with our own bespoke bedroom suite (when other people aren't using it! how very dare they). We are privileged to be part of their lives.

I love this photograph, the serenity is merely covering the fact that H has just caught Daisy after 15 minutes of scampering over the sands, devouring sandwiches from Northern folk who have the adventurous spirit to picnic on a wild Cornish beach in March, disobeying all instructions, weeing when any new BIG dog came and sniffed! How Daisy coped with H doing this I will never know but it shows a deep trust and understanding with pup and owner.

So how did we end up here?

The first countdown counter doesn't work? (why?) result as twiddled with html and got it working!!! even impressed with myself and the second one is somewhat tacky however it works.

This is my online journal cataloguing the ups (and perhaps the occasional downs) of the preparations for our civil partnership in August 2009. Comments and advice always welcome.

The past month has been very hectic. After quite happily strolling on through life after our engagement in Zurich (more of that later perhaps) all of a sudden there was the realisation that the wedding was a year away. No problem there until I found out that we seem to have picked one of the busiest weekend for weddings to get hitched.

Personally I blame the wedding magazines as all those brides out there really are on the startling block and when the magazine says "book early", they do! How stupid is that. So we are now having to join in the race.

Mid October and so far we have a confirmed venue, the wonderful offer of a wedding cake, marquee almost sorted, catering underway, quotes in for dj's, photographers (how bloody expensive, I think I should become one!) and various other goods. We have a tight budget and at this rate its going to be fish paste sandwiches and a can of lager though we will have a beautiful venue, a fantastic wedding cake and lots of friends and family with us.

I accept that of course most weddings are your normal heterosexual occasion and have had great fun in going for competitions offering all paid weddings, free receptions, etc. However when it comes to filling in the details there is never a groom/groom option. Fortunately both being John means that we both have had the opportunity of being the "bride" in competition land.